Refusal to Forget
by Skylarcat
Summary: What the mind chooses not to remember, the heart refuses to forget. Chapter Fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Refusal to Forget  
**Author**: Skylarcat  
**Classification:** MSR, Chapter Fic  
**Rating:** PG 13  
**Feedback:** Yes, please.  
**Summary:** What the mind chooses not to remember the heart refuses to forget.  
**Note:** Scully and Mulder are characters that belong to Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, and Ten-Thirteen Productions. Yes, I have used them without permission. However, no copyright infringement is intended. And I will return them intact and a lot more satisfied.

**Chapter One: ****Becoming Strangers in a Church.**

It occurred on a September day not too long ago in a town forgotten by the rest of the world. Though fall had arrived, the humidity remained sticky, glue-like upon the skin and silk fabrics and cotton threads conformed to the dampness of the body. The heat was so dense that it could only be described as suffocating. Its thick murky air swelled and dripped with anticipation of what would come. On days like this, time often stood still. Change was near. It rested around every corner, awaited behind every door and all anyone could do was wait.

Climate like this often inspired people to think—to think about life and what it consisted of—and what it truly consisted of was often amusing. Assortments of clips and photographs of memories collected by the mind, stored safely in the dusty corners there, awaiting discovery at a later time. Shuffled and organized, filtered in entrapments of love and tailored in pain only to be recalled on another day.

Change could be collected within a glass jar. Where there it could be scrutinized and admired. Its mysteries locked in strands that twisted and bonded against the cool smooth surface of glass threatening breakage. Until finally it surrenders and shatters sending its bitter and broken pieces across the floor of time to be remembered forever if allowed.

A thousand memories shared between the two and all were precious in their own way. A sunburst of time where history turned into legend and legend transformed into myth. But it was who they were; it was who they had become.

In a world filled with such complex issues their friendship, their meaning to one another, their love, was simple within its existence and yet miraculous to experience. But in this town time had no meaning and history could be forgotten. A sunburst could expire into a dark mass of emptiness and change meaninglessly.

She sat in a corner beneath the large glass-stain windows cradling her knees to her chest. And despite the dense heat of the morning she shivered. The tiny fingers of apprehensiveness and remorse rippled down her body sending chills along her spine. She lifted her eyes to the statue of Christ that towered above her slightly to the right. He hovered there glaring with scrutiny and she wondered if this was punishment for some crime she had unknowingly committed.

She adverted her stare to where he sat against another wall, his legs stretched out in front of him, his head bent slightly in defection and she wanted nothing more then to be able to crawl over to him; to comfort him; to tell him everything would be okay. But she couldn't; not when she knew it wouldn't be okay; not when she needed to be comfort herself.

Slowly, she found the courage to allow her voice to form the words she feared to ask. "Are you sure this is the only way?"

He jumped slightly at the sound of her voice, surprised that she was able to speak and without looking up his only response was a nod.

Only then did she allow herself to crawl over to where he rested. Her small feeble hands worked indulgently to bring his face to her level and only once eye contact was made did she speak.

"If this is how it's going to end then I have to tell you something, Mulder."

She could feel the swell of tears, the salt burning her eyes and clouding her vision, but she refused to allow it to stop her. This was the moment—it had to be. She felt his hands brace her upon her waist offering her support just as he always had. And she realized that once he removed them she would fall—fall into nothingness.

"If tomorrow comes and we no longer remember each other then I need to tell you this...I need you to know this..." She paused, leaning closer so her cheek rested upon his, her lips close to his ear and whispered, "I love you."

His arms now wrapped around her bringing her close against him—clinging for dear life as he broke down sobbing and between gasps he mumbled, "I love you, too...I love you, too,…I love you, too."

She pulled away only momentarily searching his eyes. "Mulder, will you remember me?" She asked even though she already knew the answer in which would pursue. She hated the reality of the situation and longed to awake to discover it was all a dream, but she knew there would be no such luck and that broke her heart even more.

He sensed this and brought his hand up to embrace her face as he answered, "I wish I could say I could never forget you, but in the present situation it would sound like a worn-out cliché. Come tomorrow our existence to each other will be forgotten." His lips brushed across her forehead before quietly adding, "Come tomorrow all will be forgotten."

She lowered her body within the folds of his arms, allowing her head to drape upon his shoulder. And they sat like this, unmoving, as the sun burst within the morning sky. And in a church, in some forgotten town, a couple of soul mates became strangers. But sometimes something magical occurs. What the mind chooses not to remember the heart refuses to forget.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Soul mates Meeting Once More**

She had never been a spontaneous person it wasn't in her nature. Her life was manageable consisting of order and routine. Her plans were always well thought and every imaginable outcome was considered before she committed herself. She wasn't a risk-taker that would be too dangerous. However, secretly, in her heart she longed to be. Contemplating the day when she could venture into the unfamiliar.

The air was cold as it collided against her, chapping her skin. And she slowed her pace as the wind's fingers pried and pulled at her russet tresses until several strands came loose sending a crimson cloud of locks within her vision. Reserved, she lifted a gloved hand and attentively swept the liberated hair back behind her ear. Stopping momentarily to recollect her bearings her eyes went to the large glass window, which held a large neon sign announcing home cooking.

She recognized the place as a family restaurant consisting of greasy foods and town locals. She had never found such dining arrangements as charming; in fact she found the cozy atmosphere almost nauseating. Such places always excluded her and she tended to view the precarious streets as more of a haven. And besides, the unhealthy food choices alone often prevented her entry.

She stood for what felt like an eternity staring within the window at the collective group of people enjoying their meals and suddenly felt incline to enter the restaurant. Somewhere within her soul there was a sense of familiarity though unbeknownst to any reason as of why, however, the feeling would not subside.

Ridding her self from any doubt she stepped into the structure. The gold bell above the door announced her presence and she was greeted by several stares from locals, who after once determining that she wasn't a regular returned their attention back to their meals.

She managed her way over to an empty bar stool and tentatively removed her gloves and heavy wool coat placing them aside on the green tile covered counter. A waitress quickly welcomed her and left a menu.

She threw one last glance at the window in an attempt to prompt her self to flee, but instead sat motionless staring at the outside world. Fall had been late in arriving, but winter had been prompt and fierce announcing its arrival with several inches of snow. And the weather appeared to be unrelenting.

Glancing over the menu she quickly decided that nothing on it appealed to her appetite. Surprisingly, she wasn't even hungry. So why was it that she had come here? She grazed nervously at the restaurant's decor noting the several photographs of Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe. She found such decorations as tacky and uninviting, but he would find them as endearing.

She paused narrowing her eyes in confusion as to whom she was referring to. There was a vivid recollection of a person who was vital to her existence, but she was uncertain to as whom that person was. It was as though a memory was lurking within her conscience struggling to be remembered. She felt a connection to this place. There was some unexplainable thread bonding her here.

"I really got to get a life." She mumbled under her breath as she averted her stare to the back of the restaurant. There was an archway graced with vines that led to another area of tables. The room was empty apart from a man who sat alone at a table. He was masked by darkness except for the glow that came from the small light fixture that pivoted above his head. However, even in the brisk of such shadows she could distinguish that he was beautiful. She noted the curve of his brow, his chiseled jaw line and even admired his slightly large nose that graced his face amazedly. She was attracted to him. She could acknowledge this and yet she felt the word attraction lack meaning for what she was feeling within her soul.

The man suddenly glanced up catching her eye and she quickly turned away embarrassed. She could feel her skin turning red and prayed silently that the man hadn't noticed her staring. Tilting her head slightly, she attempted to steal a glance at him, but found his attention was still on her and he was now smiling. Shaking her head in concentration she swiftly reached for the menu to abide her focus. However, it was useless. There was something about him that sent shivers rippling down her spine.

She felt his presence even before he sat down. It felt like electric was stimulating throughout her body. She restrained herself from rendering any response and instead pretended to be engrossed within the menu. His eyes burned through her but she remained immune to his advances. He leaned closer resting his arm on the counter only inches from hers. And for a moment she wondered if her shaking was visible. He appeared unaware of the effects his actions were having on her. She could smell his cologne and the scent was vaguely familiar.

A spark of magic had been ignited. That's how she would describe it. A perfect concoction of familiarity and the uncertain bonding together creating an experience like no other. He sat quietly next to her while she pretended to be immersed within the menu refusing to acknowledge him. And yet their presence to one another was undeniable. His actions were so endearing that he could have been a best friend. Yet, he sat so intimately close to her that he could have been an old lover. Who was this man? She could only wonder his significance to the world, to her life.

And then he spoke. "I'm colorblind."

His response was impulsive, she could tell, but his words dripped with implicit meaning and she found her self interested, yet, hesitant at the same time.

She lifted a brow slightly in puzzlement over such a comment and managed to inquire, "Is that right?"

Surprised that she was able to refrain from her usual sarcastic remark of 'thanks for sharing' she awaited his response.

It came in a form of a smile. "Yes. I have trouble distinguishing certain colors, but even so, I would describe your hair as strawberry champagne."

Her eyes lowered in consideration. Was that the sweetest complement she ever heard?

"Is there such a thing?" Catching his look of confusion she added, "As strawberry champagne that is."

She wasn't one to allow such intuitiveness as an admirer to affect her. She didn't have time for such things as love. As a woman her strength was impeccable. She denied herself from wanton ideals instead focusing on career objectives. But within the presence of him she found herself unable to protest.

After a pregnant pause he answered, "I'm not sure, but if so I would imagine it as beautiful...magical...alluring. Much like yourself."

It was now her turn to smile. "Alluring?" She almost laughed at such a concept. "How's that?"

It amazed her that he found her alluring. After all he didn't even know her. And yet there he was sitting beside her appearing to be shocked over such a confession.

"Well," he started. "You did allure me to come over here."

"Oh did I?" She actually laughed out loud. "I see you're a comedian."

He didn't answer her, but he too, was amused. She noticed then that he had hazel eyes. Strong and remorseful in their oval confinements. Had she looked into them before? She felt as though she knew him for centuries—two lost soul mates finding each other again.

What the hell was she thinking? When did she become the romantic optimist?

She watched as he raised his hand bringing it close to her face and then she felt the delicate flesh of his fingers along her forehead brushing a strand of crimson hair away.

"You're the most alluring person I know." He admitted.

She should have pulled away but was memorized by his words. Her ability to be so comfortable with a stranger scared her and she could only whisper, "But you don't know me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Anything is Possible. **

Pulling away quickly, she eyed him through complex eyes. "We don't know each other do we?"

She couldn't recall ever meeting him before, but instinctively, she remembered his presence within another time of her life. But that was impossible. She recalled her grandmother once informing her that anything was possible. That only within the impossible dimension of reality did truth reside. And only once believed in did all things become true.

She watched him from beneath her long dark eyelashes wondering if he had felt the proverbial spark that she had, but he appeared undisturbed by what was taking place.

And what exactly was taking place? Love at first sight? It was official she had finally lost her mind. She had to admit that as of late she hadn't been herself. A week ago she had discovered herself buying a whole bag of sunflower seeds for no other reason then she suddenly had the urge.

Perhaps she was going through a mid-life crisis. "So have we meant?" She rephrased her earlier question hoping she didn't sound like a complete idiot.

"I don't think so." He answered then softly added, "I think I would have remembered you, but you do seem familiar to me."

She offered a slight nod to his response then returned her attention back to the menu. Yes, she had lost her mind. As a scientist she sought out logical explanations on why all things occurred. Refusing to believe unless hard evidence was provided in proving its factuality. Yet, sitting so closely beside him she couldn't help but believe that anything was possible.

"Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

"Okay. Why not?" She spoke as she gave up on trying to read the menu and pushed it to the side. He turned his back to her and she watched as he gestured to the waitress for a cup of coffee. She picked this moment to announce her name. "Dana Scully."

He quickly turned back around to face her, his lips turning up in a half smile. "It's very nice to meet you, Dana Scully. Fox Mulder."

He offered his hand and she promptly reached out to shake it. Her brow lifted slightly in puzzlement over the mention of Fox as a name. She was about to question this but the waitress suddenly appeared with her cup of coffee. She brought the cinnamon colored mug closer to her as the rich aroma assaulted her sense of smell. Reaching for the cream and sugar she asked, "So Mulder, what is it that you do?"

There was a moment of silence as she dipped the metal spoon into the hot liquid stirring the contents gently. She threw him a quick glance to ensure him of her interest in the subject and noted his hesitancy. Smirking, she dryly commented, "Let me guess. You're a serial killer."

He chuckled softly at her joke, his eyes softening for a moment. It was then that she noticed that there was something sobering about him. Some hidden pain within his heart that she felt almost certain that she, too, shared.

"Close." He replied lowing his head and reaching for a napkin. "I'm a profiler."

She stopped stirring momentarily to see if he was serious. Determining from the look on his face he was. "I'm impressed."

Tilting his head to look at her, he asked, "Why?" His deep almond eyes questioned her intentions and she wondered if he believed that she was trying to be sarcastic.

"It's a challenging job." She offered as she lifted the spoon from the coffee and gently tapped it among the edge of the cup before placing it on a nearby napkin. "Embarking on a journey of a criminal's mind I'm sure isn't an easy task." She paused, locking eyes with him. "You just be careful not to get lost along the way, Mulder."

He looked at her through solemn eyes. As though he was an open book and she was the only person in the world taking the time to read. For some reason that thought broke her heart.

Smiling slightly, he asked, "So Scully, what is it you do?"

It was her temperament to bottle her feelings inside. To only reveal what was required locking away everything else within the secrets of her heart. She was used to running away and pretending that nothing was wrong. She was fine always fine. But when she looked at him she wanted to share all her secrets. To spill out her soul until he knew everything there was to know.

"I'm a medical examiner." She revealed.

He snickered as he continued to fold the corners of the spare napkin. "Yeah right." When she did not say anything, he questioned, "You're serious?"

"No, I make it a habit to lie to people I just meet." She wryly commented. Turning her attention to her streaming cup of coffee. The stream rose in tight coils and she puckered her lips blowing softly at the hot liquid sending ripples along the smooth surface.

"A medical examiner", he remarked. I bet you're dead tired by the end of the day."

She leaned back turning her body towards him only faintly amused by his lame pun, but this only appeared to encourage him for he quickly conveyed, "I bet you sleep like a corpse at night."

Leaning into the counter her head supported by her hand she narrowed her eyes. "You know Mulder; you really have a sick sense of humor."

"That's me. Sick and twisted." He gleefully replied. She saw his eyes darken for a moment, as he appeared to be considering something. "Odd."

"I was joking." She quickly announced afraid that she had unintentionally hurt his feelings.

"No... not that." He spiked at his hair with his long fingers. Finally, bringing his eyes up to look at her he answered, "You don't find it odd that we refer to each other by our last names. I mean how many people do you meet and call by their last names?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: It Just Feels Right**

She recalled reading somewhere about pockets that existed within the folds of the mind. Locked away safely until a certain smell or object triggered it to be remembered. At the time, she had wondered how many pockets existed within her own mind. How many experiences had occurred that she couldn't recall? She had forgotten all about the article until now. Why were they calling each other by their last names? And why did she feel as though one of her pockets had exploded?

"I don't know." She honestly answered. "It just felt right."

He suddenly started to laugh and she looked at him slightly annoyed by the fact that she wasn't included in on the joke. "May I ask what's so funny?"

"I'm sorry." He said as his laughter slowly died. "It's just that I make everyone call me Mulder. Even my own parents."

She narrowed her eyes in speculation, but concluded that with a name like Fox, who wouldn't refrain from referring to their last name. "Well, you see no wonder I called you by your last name."

He looked at her as though she was in denial. "Yeah, but I didn't ask you to call me by my last name; and besides that it still doesn't answer why I referred to you as Scully?"

She wondered if her eyebrow could get any higher or if there was another way to convey her feelings of bewilderment. Was she actually going to try to find a reasonable explanation for calling each other by their last names?

"I'm a doctor. People refer to me by my last name all the time. You felt incline to do the same." Apparently she was.

"I called you by your last name before you informed me on what it was you did for a living." He answered disputably.

She was now at a complete lost for words. They had gone full circle—starting with nothing and ending with nothing. "Do you want to call me Dana?"

He seemed surprised by her question and quickly shook his head. "No, Scully feels right."

"Okay." It was the only word she could think of to say. Lifting the mug to her lips she hastily took a sip allowing the semi hot liquid to spill within her mouth. She was pleased to see the topic of names had finally reached an end.

"I like you." He replied quickly.

She nearly spit out her coffee upon hearing his confession. Grabbing a handful of napkins and bringing them to her mouth she glanced indulgently at him. "You don't even know me. How can you like me?"

"Intuition" Was his only reply.

His smile was contagious and she found herself smiling back in return. "You know Mulder; you just keep unfolding like a flower."

To her surprise he leaned in close to her, his head only inches from hers and whispered. "Admit it."

His breath was warm against her skin and she felt almost intoxicated by his scent. Somehow she managed to ask. "Admit what?"

He leaned in even closer so that his lips practically brushed hers and whispered, "Just admit it."

She closed her eyes lost within the moment. She wasn't sure what she was doing or what she was thinking. For the first time she was just allowing life to happen. She was surrendering control. "Fine. Fine. Fine." She snapped. "I will admit it. I sort of...you know...kind of...like you, too."

She heard his laughter and quickly opened her eyes to see that he had returned to his earlier sitting position and now stared at her grinning from ear to ear. "I knew you liked me." He mocked. "I had you at hello."

"Excuse me," she interrupted. "I hate to intrude upon your fantasy here, but you never said hello. Yeah, remember, you used that lame pick-up line 'I'm colorblind.'"

He dramatically placed his hand over his heart and did his best-wounded impression. "I'm hurt, Scully."

She couldn't help but laugh at his comical ability. It had been so long that she had actually forgotten the sound of her laughter. It was pure, soft. It almost had its own melody to it. She didn't find life too amusing anymore. Something was missing. It was just a feeling but as the days progressed it only grew stronger. Until her reality was only a blur within the dream she forever walked among.

"This is nice." He spoke in a raspy tone and she allowed herself to be submerged within his voice before finally answering him back.

"You're right. This is nice." And it was. If she hadn't been compelled to enter this diner she would be sitting home alone in her apartment once again and she was tired of that. She liked him. She had to admit. He was different then most guys she had meant. She sensed a loyalty to him though no rationale existed on to why this was.

His cell-phone went off then and she watched silently as he talked for a few minutes and scribbled something beyond her view down upon a napkin. Finally, the call ended and she once again found his attention on her.

"I'm sorry, Scully, but I am afraid I have to leave."

She could feel her whole spirit darken at such a prospect. She had only known him for a short time, but somehow was different because of it.

To her surprise his expression mirrored hers. And she remained silent as he spoke. "It was a pleasure meeting you. I can only hope that I will see you again sometime."

This was her opening to offer him her phone number or any other form of contact for another meeting, but instead she only nodded, not sure on what to say.

He stood slowly, offered her one nod, and then was gone. She sighed inwardly and turned to stare at the empty stool where he had once sat. She could still smell his scent and for a moment she wondered if she should run after him. But such actions were for movies. She picked up her coat when the napkin he had been writing on caught her eye. Picking up the soft material she quickly unfolded it to read what he had written. As she read the print she found herself smiling.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Waiting.**

The slate colored sky had reopened while she had been inside and now snowflakes swirled within the air all around her. She wrapped her scarf more tightly around her delicate neck in defense of the cold air. She had been pacing the same spot for ten minutes now trying to conjure up excuses on why she shouldn't go, but couldn't come up with anything. There were no risks involved, but yet she was terrified. He was the only person she had ever meant that had treated her like an equal. Glancing at her watch she realized that she was already late. There was no way he would be there waiting for her now. But she had to know for sure.

Finally swallowing her fear she headed to the place where his napkin had directed. It had read to meet him at their bench. Simple enough if they had known each other for years or shared memories of this location, but for them this wasn't the case. What had surprised her more wasn't the fact that she knew inherently where their bench was, but instead the fact that he would know that she would know this.

She had once taken a class in college about the human mind. It was a complex motor that often when remembering did revision. Human beings are forgetful creatures and lack attention spans. For this reason there often exist gaps or missing pieces. And as we recall these memories with missing pieces we extract new information and in doing so we refill the gaps with false data. We use imagination to reinvent our past, and with it, our present and future.

Often memory allows us to learn from our experiences without having to repeat them endlessly. However, when we attempt to refill gaps within the memory we imagine what might have happen or what could have happened. Her professor had revealed that humans often used their memories to make sense of their present and in doing so revised the past.

Was she reinventing her past to include him? Or did she really have hidden memories in which he was apart of?

As she turned the corner she saw his silhouette even in the darkness of the night. His back was to her and she noted his hands were in his pockets. Somewhere deep inside she had known he would still be here waiting for her. Just as he would have known that she would come.

The snow crunched under her shoes as she approached him and he turned at the sound locking eyes with her.

"You're late." He announced half-heartedly.

As she stared within his eyes she noted a hint of relief. Had he been worried that she wouldn't show up? She suddenly felt bad for keeping him waiting.

"I'm sorry." She admitted. There was a pause as she considered whether or not telling him the truth on why she was late. But there would be no lies between them. There never had been. "I spent the last fifteen minutes pacing back and forth in the same spot trying to decide if I should come here or not."

His laughter was enriching and it wasn't long until she discovered herself laughing at her own confession.

"You're not a spontaneous person, are you?" He asked between chuckles.

Shaking her head in reservation she admitted, "What can I say? It's not in my nature." She glanced at her surroundings and discovered that they were pretty secluded. Turning to face him, she asked, "What now?"

He seemed puzzled. His hazel eyes narrowed in deep thought. "I'm not sure." He revealed after a few moments.

Without a second thought she reached out and took his hand. His eyes came alive from such an inmate action. She wasn't sure what was driving her, but she felt wild. She felt free. "Let's be spontaneous."

That was all she had to say. Without any words they took off running, hand in hand, along the snow. Their designation was unknown, but they knew they were headed in the right direction. They could both feel it. They took a corner sharp and she could feel herself slipping, but he had her hand and she quickly regained her balance. They balanced each other and with him at her side she could never fall.

She had often blindly tested herself accepting things as truth identifying it as fate—A sign of recognition. Was she doing this with him? Was she blindly running into something that she wasn't prepared for?

Suddenly the narrow path that they had been running along cleared into a wide opening. In the mist of trees and snow existed a lake frozen over in ice.

"I have never seen anything so beautiful." She spoke from his side.

He turned to look at her with intense hazel eyes. "Me either."

Realizing that he was referring to her she quickly cast her stare back to the lake, but inherently, squeezed his hand tighter.

"Scully, will you dance with me?"

His question received a perplex smile as she quickly glanced around once more at their surroundings.

"But there isn't any music."

He laughed at her innocence. Placing a hand on her waist he gently guided her into him. "We don't need music." Taking her by the wrist he placed her hand on his shoulder. "We'll make our own music."

She felt his hands press down on her lower back and vigilantly laid her head upon his chest. He began to hum softly and instinctively their bodies started to sway. They fit perfectly together.

The snow continued to fall from the heavens as they moved. And she knew that she would remember this moment forever. Exhaling deeply she allowed her eyes to close.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: I'm Not Losing You Again.**

Slowly her eyes fluttered open, forging their way through the snowflakes that found refuge there. For a moment, she was still. Recalling every occurrence of the day. It had started like any other until one small choice presented itself and she had embraced it, not knowing of its consequences. That is what life consisted of; several insignificant moments that made life relevant.

She smiled knowing her life would never be the same. She had finally embarked in the unknown and she had developed a taste for it.

It was quiet now. He had stopped humming awhile ago but neither seemed to notice or care. She calmly tilted her back so she could look at him. He seemed content; his eyes closed. And she had finally found a home. She had finally found where she belonged. Maybe she was being sentimental. Perhaps even a little naïve. But she was too involved now and she didn't want to go back—go back to a life without him.

"Hi." He whispered; his voice breaking through the darkness and chill of the night. She could see that his eyes were open now. Their gaze committed contently upon her. Within the hazel pupils of his eyes she recognized admiration and quickly determined that he saw right through her. She was bare, stripped. She was no longer an ice-queen, no longer strong. She was allowing herself to be human and he saw it all. He did not judge, nor close his eyes, but accepted her—accepted all of her.

"Hi." She parroted. Her voice sounded meek, small—insignificant.

He allowed his hands to drop by his side and she almost protested the lost of his touch. She quickly recovered and offered him a smile. One in which he returned. However, she was still relieved when his hands pulled at her coat wrapping it tighter around her.

"Are you cold?" He asked generally concern.

She found his protectiveness endearing.

"No." She responded shaking her head.

In the process of her answer his hands had risen and now toyed with the strands of her hair. His fingers intertwine the crimson locks with an element of possessiveness. And she knew then that she belonged to him and he belonged to her. At least for the moment.

"It's a beautiful night." He commented.

His voice awoke her from the fantasy that she had been entertaining. Love at first sight was for fairytales, not for the real world. She had to be logical after all.

"Yes." She agreed; dismissing the butterflies within her stomach.

"Will you watch the stars with me?" He requested. And when she didn't answer right away he gently lifted her hand up to his lips placing a firm kiss there.

"Okay." She managed to whisper. Knowing there would be no denying him.

He gently took her hand and she followed slightly behind him. The snow crunched under their feet as they walked. She noticed his pause and watched as he gingerly took a step forward then turned to help her. It was then that she realized he was leading her out onto the frozen lake.

Her eyes widen and her hands braced upon his chest in protest. "I said I wanted to watch the stars not commit suicide."

Her body went timid as her feet slipped from the first touch of ice. But his grip on her was strong and she quickly recovered. She tightly held onto his shoulders. Taking a deep breath, she made sure she had regained her balance before lifting her eyes to meet his. To her surprised he greeted her with tenderness. His hands soothingly brushed the strands of hair out of her face.

"Do you trust me?" He questioned.

She didn't have to think about it. She already knew the answer. He was the only one she ever trusted. Her soul knew this somehow. And without anymore hesitation she allowed him to guide her out onto the lake. Every time her feet slipped and she was certain she would fall he somehow always managed to catch her. Once they were far enough onto the lake he stopped and sat down. Gesturing to her to do the same.

She dropped to her knees as she stole a glance back to shore before quickly returning her attention back to him. "Do you hear that?" She suddenly questioned, her eyes darting around the ice. "It sounds like cracking."

He now laid upon his back and stared up at her through amused eyes. "Relax," he reassured her. "I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

And she believed him. Shifting her body weight she lowered her back upon the ice. The cold moisture broke through the fabric of her coat and blouse and she shivered but remained there. She had never witness the stars this way before. Perhaps it was because the night sky was undeniable clear, or perhaps it was the nature of the spontaneous way she was watching them, but she had never viewed stars so beautiful in her life. She became lost among the vast constellations forgetting all about the cold or the lake. She allowed herself to be drawn within them, devoured by their light.

He spoke from beside her. "As a child I used to watch the stars. There's something amazing about them. To think that their light is billion of years old by the time we see it. Nothing is more ancient in the universe." He paused, his voice remorseful. "I like to believe that perhaps they are souls, Scully. Traveling through time as starlight, looking for home."

It wasn't until she felt the moisture upon her cheeks did she realize that she was crying. "That's a beautiful notion, Mulder. I want to believe."

She allowed herself to sit up, her hands brushing at the fallen tears. And he quickly joined her. At the feel of his presence she graced her head upon his shoulder. And he firmly wrapped his arms around her.

"Mulder, you believe in fate?" She inquired.

"Not much I don't believe in." He responded.

Her lips turned up in a smile. "Yeah, I figured that."

"But I believe in you." He added. "And I believe in this."

His fingers tucked under her chin and pulled forcing her to look up at him. Protesting at first, she finally relented and allowed herself to make eye contact. The world became silent in that instant.

"I think I'm in love with you. I think I have loved you for my whole life." He confessed.

His fingers gently stroked her hair and she closed her eyes as she leaned in. He met her halfway. His lips were soft upon hers and she was surprised by the extent of hunger the kiss exhibited. Her mind became cloudy and she was overwhelmed with emotions.

Suddenly there was a flash of light and somewhere within her mind an explosion occurred. Thousands of lost memories surfaced before her and she struggled to recall them all. She was starting to remember.

_**"Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted."**_

_**"Mulder, you're the only one I trust."**_

They had been partners. Perhaps in another lifetime. Perhaps in this one. She couldn't be certain. Condone to a basement office, they only had each other.

_**"Scully, you have to believe me. Nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will. You're my one in five billion."**_

They were best friends. Trusting only in each other. She remembered it all. All the trails and tribulations. Everything they had faced only made them stronger.

_"But you saved me! As difficult and as frustrating as it's been sometimes, your goddamned strict rationalism and science have saved me a thousand times over! You've kept me honest...you've made me a whole person. I owe you everything...Scully, and you owe me nothing."_

And then a moment of clarity. A confession of sorts. He couldn't survive her leaving and she wouldn't allow herself to leave him. A few bees and a virus later...a moment never spoken about again.

_**"You were my friend, and you told me the truth. Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant...my touchstone."**_

_**"And you are mine."**_

She quickly pulled away from the kiss. Staring up at him frightened and confused. As she caught his stare she realized that he, too, had remembered. Abruptly standing, she was thrown off balance forgetting all about the ice. He managed to catch her in time and she quickly recovered. She struggled briefly to escape his grip, but the ice was no match and she instantly succeeded. Turning from him she raced to reach solid ground.

In a matter of moments, her feet reached the powdered snow covered bank. And turning to glance back she saw that he was on her heels. She quickened her pace, but her short legs paled in comparison to his long ones. And in a matter of seconds he caught up to her. Holding onto her arm, she was forced to stop.

"Scully, will you look at me? Damn-it! What are you running from?"

She turned to face him. Her chest hovered up and down as she grasped for air. "I know you felt it. I know you remember." She accused. She remembered him within her life, yet, in the same aspect she could still recall the life in which didn't include him. She was confused on to why she had ever forgotten him. Or how it was that she could ever forget him.

When he spoke again she could sense his panic. "I'm not losing you again. I'm not going to allow myself to forget you."

It was then that she realized that he had forgotten her as well. And now they both remembered.

Seeing him so desperate, she softened and crossed the distance to him. Wrapping her arms around him she revealed, "You won't lose me again. I won't let you."

She felt his tension ease as he embraced her. Her head buried within his chest she spoke, "But we deserve answers."

"But from whom?" He asked.

She tilted her head back staring up at him and without answering he knew the answer.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: We Can Do This…Right?**

She stood slightly behind him masked within the dark shadows of the hallway. She watched as he brought one fist up and knocked twice on the wooden door. For the most part she was expressionless. She was well aware of what awaited behind the door; answers—answers that they both deserved.

The sound of unlocking was heard and then the door came slightly ajar. A pair of confused eyes greeted them. And she watched as the man struggled with his glasses as though the lenses would offer him clarity. Finally branching them out onto the bridge of his nose he watched them through narrowed eyes.

There was a moment of recognition. "Mulder, Scully?" And then the door came fully opened.

Mulder shot her a quick glance before returning his attention back to the man at the door. "Skinner, you seem surprised to see us." He announced almost witty then added more solemnly; "May we come in?"

The older man quickly took a step back to allow them entry. Mulder was the first to enter and she followed at his heels, eyes lowered in effort to avoid contact with Skinner. The living room was dark and Skinner immediately went to turn on the small lamp that rested on a table near the door. She blinked a few times as her eyes struggled to adjust to the sudden ray of light. Once her pupils dilated she noted that Skinner was only dressed in pajama bottoms. They had awoken him.

"I don't understand." Skinner was commenting from the walkway. He hastily rubbed at his balding head as he paced back and forth. "Are you telling me you remember each other?"

Being the rash and emotional one, Mulder took the initiative. "Is there a reason why we shouldn't?"

Skinner appeared complex by Mulder's admission. "It was what you both decided. How did you find each other?"

"Fate." Mulder answered.

Skinner paused staring at them in amazement. "Maggie said you guys would find each other."

Scully finally brought her full attention onto Skinner. "What?" She asked lifting her brows in surprised. Her mother was aware of such an unthinkable act and perhaps even aided on its deliberation. "My mother was apart of this?" Suddenly feeling very weak she slumped down upon the leather couch. She wasn't sure of anything anymore.

"We were all apart of it. Don't you remember? Your mother was against it from the start. She said you would find each other again. That the heart never forgets. She was right."

"Why would Scully and I want to forget each other? Forget about the X-Files?" Mulder inquired kneeling before Scully. His hand gently touched her cheek and she allowed her eyes to linger with his, searching for reinsurance.

"You had been working on a case." Skinner began. "Involving the death of several children. The town's people claimed to have no recognition of who the children were. They could not remember their names, where they lived, who were their parents." He crossed the living room stopping briefly to stare outside the window. "Somewhere, somehow along the way you connected the government's involvement. And in this town you discovered a truth that wasn't meant to be discovered."

"What truth?" Mulder demanded jumping to his feet.

Skinner turned to face them. "I don't know, Mulder. You both wouldn't reveal what it was you discovered. Only that you had gotten to close to the truth and your lives were in danger. But not just your lives, the lives of the people you love."

Scully, who had remained quiet throughout most of the revelation now spoke. "But why go to such extreme measures? Our lives have been in danger before."

"Mulder knew your family meant everything to you. You already lost so much. And he couldn't allow you to lose anymore. He couldn't see you hurt and live with him self. You were all that was left of his family. You were his family. You are his family. And he would protect you at all cost. So a deal was made. A deal with the devil."

Scully leaped to her feet. "Are you telling me that the cigarette smoking man was behind this?"

Skinner nodded his head in confirmation. "A guarantee that you both got to live as well as your families, but with one catch."

"We forget the truth, and each other." Mulder finished.

She wasn't sure how long the three of them had been sitting there in the silence. Time appeared meaningless. After all these years, the truth still remained unknown, the threat still very much present. The only thing left was one question that neither of them were willing to ask. What would become of them now?

"So what now?" Mulder asked from where he sat on the floor. His eyes found hers and she realized he directed the question to her.

She sat forward closing the gap between them. "I'm not willing to forget you again." She confessed. "I won't go back. We have to face this."

And in one silent moment an agreement was rendered.

"Well in that case," Skinner spoke. "The X-Files is officially reopened."

Mulder took her hand and gently squeezed it. There was no going back, this she knew. They would face the consequences together.

Skinner shifted slightly uncomfortable with their display of affection. Coughing slightly he announced; "Now if you will excuse me, I have some phone calls to make."

Once Skinner had disappeared down the hallway she turned to see Mulder wearing an amused expression. "I think the Skin-man might be jealous here, Scully."

She allowed a laugh to escape from her throat before slapping him on the arm. He did his best-wounded expression and she watched him through mock amusement before her eyes took on a more sober expression. He sensed the change of mood and regarded her in curiosity. "We can do this right Mulder?"

He leaned into her territory unattained, his lips only inches from hers. "Absolutely." He replied, then his lips found hers.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: My Place.**

She sat alone in the basement office for the first time in weeks. Files lay scattered across the desk, the computer screen on, and her coffee untouched. She mused how the past few days actually felt normal. Odd, considering normalcy was a rarity in their lives. She wasn't sure if she should curse it or embrace it.

They both had fallen back into their old routines. He, the believer and her, the skeptic-- using science to prove his convictions. The X-Files had been reopened and their enemies were well aware of their unyielding connection. Even in a moment of forgetfulness they still had managed to find their way back to each other.

But remembering came with a price. Since returning to the lives that they had forgotten, neither spoke of the night on the ice when a confession was made, followed by a kiss. It had been a true moment. Both with their guards down, finally able to admit their love for each other. Out on the ice there hadn't been any consequences, no rules prohibiting them. Since returning to work there had been an uncomfortable barrier between them. There was an avoidance of personal contact. Their love for each other had been made aware and now neither of them could deny it any longer. It was just a question on where they would go from here.

There were only two options. They could pretend the night on the ice never happened, much like they did with the kiss that almost occurred outside in his apartment hallway. Or they could say the hell with the rules and embark on a new aspect of their relationship.

She preferred the later. However, she would not push him. Not now when he had returned to his home—to the X-Files. They were his life, his truth. How could she compare with that? And she loved him too much to ever ask him to choose.

She leaned her head back against the chair, shutting her eyes. She no longer had the strength to make sense of her life.

"You're wrong, you know." Came the sound of his voice and her eyes quickly came opened.

She brought her attention to where he stood in the doorway of their office. Confused by his question, she asked, "Wrong about what?"

He came into the office, but did not near the desk. Instead opted to stand in the walkway. "About this." He announced gesturing with his hand. "You're wrong. I would gladly give this up for you. You have to know by now that none of this matters unless you are by my side. You're my life now."

Surprised by how uncannily he could read her, to see right through her, she paused unable to find the words and stared up at him silently.

"This comes second." He continued. "You come first. We come too far to not continue."

Finally finding the ability to speak, she asked, "So what are you saying Mulder?"

He smiled. "I'm saying Dinner, tonight. My place."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: No Longer Hungry.**

Instinctively, she found his key and placing it into the lock; she allowed herself in.

They had exchanged keys earlier on in their relationship. In their line of work it was essential. Until now she had never perceived the action as intimate. However, in reality, this step would be considered as a big leap for couples to embark upon. The next logical step would be to move in with each other. But they hadn't been a couple, or at least in the romantic sense. Perhaps, that was the reason it didn't feel so intimate back then. But, now considering it, she valued its importance. With the exchange of one small key, there was an acknowledgement of trust. At any time, he could invade her space, enter her world; surprise her. Even her mother didn't have a key to her apartment. But he did.

She recalled the first time she had ever used his key to enter his apartment. It was some time after the incident on the bridge, where he had exchanged his sister for her. She had come in hopes of speaking to him. But soon discovered that he wasn't there. Noticing the stacked newspapers, she determined that he hadn't been there for at least a couple of days. Getting concerned she had unlocked his door and allowed herself in. Heading for his computer, she knew inherently, it would reveal a hint to his whereabouts. There had been an email addressed to her informing her that he would not jeopardize her life, he was drawing the line. He had ditched her. She had been upset at first, but knowing Mulder like she did; she knew he left her behind not because he thought she couldn't handle it, but because he wouldn't risk losing her. He had loved her even then.

As she stepped into his apartment the scent of pasta and sauce assaulted her. She walked a little further until she stood in the living room and faced the kitchen. He stood in front of the stove, intently stirring the sauce. She allowed her eyes to take him in. He was barefoot, wearing blue jeans and his white oxford shirt hanged loosely with several buttons undone. He was a sight for the eyes.

Glancing up he noticed her presence. "Hey, there."

"Hey, yourself." She returned, removing her coat and deserting it on the back of a nearby chair. Stepping into the kitchen, her eyes went to the pots and pans. "I see you have been busy."

He nodded sheepishly and reached by her to where the sauce simmered in a pan. Using a large wooden spoon, he scooped a bit of it up and turned to face her, offering her a taste.

She was hesitant for a moment, eyeing him suspiciously. Finally allowing her lips to part, he brought the spoon closer until her tongue could lap at the sauce. Noticing his flinch, she allowed her lips to enclose the spoon. Closing her eyes briefly, she slowly removed her lips from the spoon. She heard him swallow loudly.

"Delicious." She stated. Realizing she had left some sauce on the spoon, she took a finger and traced along the sauce. Bringing her finger to his lips, he gladly opened his mouth taking her finger in.

Finally he released her finger and stared at her. "Not to scabby, if I may say so myself."

She shook her head in amusement. "I didn't know you could cook, Mulder."

His smile widened. Lifting a brow seductively, he stated, "One of my many hidden talents."

She returned the look, lifting a brow of her own. "Withholding hidden talents from me, partner?"

"Ah...Scully, you know I have a reputation to keep. 'Spooky', cannot know how to cook. That would be unheard of."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"Take a seat. I'll bring out our plates."

He gestured to behind her and she quickly turned to face a small table. It was seated for two. He even had candles out and a bottle of wine. This was a date. A real date.

She took a seat and watched as he fixed their plates. How domestic, she thought to herself. Watching Mulder bring out their food, she noticed his calmness. She had never seen this side of him before. He was always on the run, always chasing some truth. And as she watched him twirl the fork within his pasta, she realized that Mulder was standing still. And she liked it.

They ate silently for a few minutes. It was in these silent echoes, where words were useless, their thoughts for only each other, did everything make sense. They could both say a thousand things with one look. And the way he looked at her right then could stop time, could melt ice, dry up rivers. With one look she was complete.

And she was no longer hungry.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: And then there was love.**

His plate quickly joined hers off to the side and he reached over cupping her hands within his.

"Scully, there has always been a comfort level between us. Even when we couldn't remember each other and we sat in that café, talking as though it was for the first time, we were comfortable in each other's presence."

There was a pause as he leaned closer to her.

"But there's something new occurring here. Something scary as well as exciting and I don't want anything to happen that will make things uncomfortable between us."

She sat quiet absorbing his words, like the sponge that evaporates the tiny droplets of rain within itself; she allowed his words to reach inside her core. She understood the silver lining that he was presenting. The aspects of a romance were alluring and near and she saw the boundary line so clearly as though it had been drawn in chalk. Would she step across it?

And then she had her answer.

No.

She would leap.

She stood so rapidly that her chair crumbled to the floor behind her. At the display of her actions, Mulder quickly was on his feet.

"Scully?" He asked concernedly. And within his eyes she noticed the fear, the fear that she was fleeing.

"I love you, Mulder." And that was it. Enough said.

She brought her lips hard against his and he stumbled briefly. He quickly recovered and then kissed her back just as feverishly.

Somehow they had made their way to his bedroom, scattering clothes along the way, and now fell naked onto the bed. There wasn't time for exploring, or savoring kisses, only a need for fulfillment. The years of pent-up frustration of always wanting, but never having had took their toll and now they lay wantonly across the sheets of honey and silk.

But even though her hands cradled him and her legs twisted together with his, he still managed to break free and pulled away from her. And she longed for his contact. She brought her hand up to reach for him, but he caught it. She looked up at him through lustful concerned eyes.

"Mulder, what is it?"

He stroked her cheek gently. "I love you."

She smiled. And finally for the first time in their lives, Dana Scully and Fox Mulder made love.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven: The Promise.**

She awoke, startled briefly by the darkness. The light from the moon made its entrance though the tiny cracks of the window and illuminated a path to the bed. For a moment her eyes struggled to adjust, but finally she was able to see clearly. She was laying in Mulder's bed. The events of the previous night quietly replayed within her head and she smiled to herself. White knuckles clutching buttermilk sheets in the moment of climax, long legs stretching out from cream blankets and pillows. The feel of his chest hair on her face as she pressed her head against him to hear the sound of his heart beating. The pink tip of her tongue slowly peeked out moistening her bottom lip. Mulder was pure honey. Suddenly she ached for him.

Turning on her side she reached for him but found that she was alone in the bed. Perplex, she quickly pushed aside the blankets and step off the bed. Noticing her state of nudity, her eyes promptly searched around the room trying to locate her clothing. She wasn't having much luck, but noticed Mulder's forgotten oxford shirt. Deciding that it would do the trick; she slid into it. It swallowed her frame, but she didn't care. After buttoning a few buttons she went in search of her other half.

She found him in the living room; hatched over what appeared to be a notebook. The room was dark except for the small desk lamp that provided his only reading light. Her bare feet padded along the wooden floor as she moved into the room. Hearing her approach; he quickly looked up.

"Hey Baby. Did I wake you?" He removed his reading glasses and discarded them on the desk.

She shook her head. "No. I just missed you." She eyed the notebook that rested before him. Then added, "What you reading?"

He shrugged, rubbing his tired eyes. "I couldn't sleep. Something about that case just wouldn't leave me alone. Suddenly, I recalled saving a notebook."

He raised his arms to her and she quickly crossed over to him. He lowered his head against her flat stomach and she held him briefly. "I missed you, too." He mumbled as he looked up at her.

She took a seat on his lap and allowed her eyes to lower upon the notebook. She recognized his handwriting right away. Her eyes widened and she turned to face him.

"Is this about the case that made us forget about each other?" She inquired.

He appeared surprised at her concerned, but flatly answered, "Yes."

"Why are you digging that case back up?"

"What's wrong, Scully? Why are you so upset? Don't you want to know what happened?"

She stood and walked towards the living room window. Keeping her back facing him she replied, "Sometimes the past needs to stay in the past."

"But the truth will set you free, Scully." He answered as he stepped up behind her, wrapping his arms around her.

"And the quest for it, will imprison you."

His lips were warm against her neck. "I say we just check out the town. If nothing turns up I will let it go."

She turned her body around in his arms so that she now faced him. "You promise?"

He kissed her softly then pulled back, locking eyes with her. "I promise." Then his fingers went to the oxford shirt she wore. Unfolding the tiny buttons the shirt came opened and he allowed it to slide off her shoulders. The moonlight highlighted her naked body to him and she caught her breath as his tongue lowered to taste her salty flash.

"I promise you, Scully." Then he lifted her body up, carrying her to the sofa.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve: Face It Together. **

He looked absolutely defeated, she thought watching him as he stood in the ruins of a town believed to hold the answers on why they had forgotten each other. She wasn't sure why it was so important for him to know the reasons, but it was, and that made it important to her as well.

He seemed to feel her watching him and quickly commented dryly, "I just had to know." When she did not reply he continued. "Our connection is so strong and it scares me that we were able to forget each other even if it was only for a short time."

She brushed a hand through her hair, her spirit resolving a little. And crossed over to where he now leaned against their car. She placed her hands firmly on his shoulders causing him to look at her. "Don't you see, Mulder, we didn't forget each other. There was a temporarily lapse in our recollection, but our connection was always there. Drawing you to me and me to you. We don't need some town informing us on why or how. We have everything we will ever need in each other. You understand?"

His eyes softened and he nodded. She sighed and lowered her head upon his chest. He held her for a moment until the sound of another car drew their attention.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Mulder demanded as he stepped in front of her. Always so damn protective, she thought as she fell into her spot beside him.

The other man lit a cigarette. His thin lips puckered and inhaled deeply then released the smoke coils. He watched them through amused eyes. "I had to come see for myself it the stories were true." He chuckled softly then added, "I see that they are. We misjudged your love for one another."

"Well you misjudged a lot of things, Cancer-man." Mulder remarked. "What kind of test were you performing in this town?"

"Agent Mulder, you ask too many questions. I believe that was what got you and Agent Scully in trouble in the first place. And besides you are asking the wrong question. You should be asking 'what happens now?'"

She noticed the muscles in Mulder's back tense and resisted the urge to reach out and touch him. He shrugged, narrowing his eyes at the Cancer-man. "You wouldn't kill me." Her own muscles tensed at that and she instantly unhooked her gun. She would be damned if she were going to sit back and allow that to happen.

"You'd be surprise at what I'm capable of, Agent Mulder."

"I didn't say you weren't capable. I said you wouldn't"

The other man dropped his cigarette onto the ground and stomped on it. "Wouldn't I?"

"No, you wouldn't." Mulder answered. "You like the challenge."

"You're right." The other man agreed. "I do enjoy a good battle. So why not kill what's most vulnerable to you?"

Before she could comprehend what was happening Mulder was pushing her behind him blocking her with his body. He pulled out his own gun and aimed it squaring at the other man. "You wouldn't risk killing her. If she dies you have taken away everything I have left and you risk turning my quest into a crusade. I wouldn't stop till your blood spilled."

"No, I wouldn't kill either one of you. To be honest, the world is more interesting with you two in it." The other man turned and bid them farewell then drove off.

Scully gently lowered Mulder's weapon. "He's gone."

"So what now?" He asked.

She shrugged. "We go on with our lives." She took his hand within hers. "Together."

He lowered his head and she met him halfway. His lips brushed over hers softly and she closed her eyes. Once released, he opened her car door and she quietly slipped in. But he bent slightly so he was looking at her at eye level and answered, "Together."

They drove away that night, not knowing what the future had in store, but what ever it was they knew they would face it together.

**THE END.**


End file.
